Caligula’s First Birthday.

Caligula’s first birthday is over. All his friends were there, Fang the spider, Underbed Monster, Closet Monster, and some ghost called Banquo who I didn’t know about. Caligula insisted it wasn’t a proper feast without Banquo so I let him stay. He didn’t eat anything so he was a cheap guest, but he’s not much of a conversationalist.

Senga and I gave the little lad a pet piglet. It’s time he learned some responsibility and I have told him he can’t torture it. Nor can he let his toys torment it. He has formed an attachment to Scabby Ted, my old bear, and that thing can’t be trusted.

Underbed Monster gave him a dust bunny, Closet Monster gave him a beetle and Fang gave him blood poisoning. I’m not sure what Banquo gave him but I suspect it’s a personality disorder. Well, it saves him the bother of developing his own.

Caligula is under strict instruction to ensure his pet pig stays healthy and is regularly fed and well looked after. To achieve this, I bribed him with the promise that if he is good, he’ll get a shiny bacon slicer for Christmas and he’ll be allowed to help his mother with Christmas dinner.

He has named his pig ‘Dad’. Isn’t that cute?

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